New Posting, New City: How Officers Make Friends After a Transfer

The quiet cost of moving often

Officers move every few years, and each move resets a family’s social life. Spouses leave behind friends and routines, children change schools, and the officer is busy learning a new posting. It is common to feel isolated for the first months, even in a big city.

Start with people who understand

Other officers and professionals in the city have usually been through the same thing and are often the quickest friends to make. They understand irregular hours and frequent moves, and they know the city’s practical details.

Practical ways to settle in

• Say yes to the first few invitations, even when tired.
• Find one regular activity, such as a walk, a class or a club, and stick with it.
• Help your spouse and children build their own circles, not only through your work.
• Ask colleagues for one introduction each, outside work.

For spouses and children

Spouses often carry the heaviest part of a move: setting up the home, finding schools and doctors, and starting again socially, sometimes while also finding new work. Encourage them to build friendships of their own, not only through official circles. Grown-up children of officers aged 22 and over can join Officer Saathi with their own profile, which gives them a way to meet people of their own age in the new city.

Meet people nearby, privately

On Officer Saathi, you can say you are free right now, for an hour or for up to 48 hours, and see who else is free nearby. People see your city, never your exact location, and a chat opens only when they accept your meetup request. A weekly note also tells you about new members in your city.

You can choose friendship or people in your city as what you are here for, so every request makes that clear. Read about the features that help you meet people nearby or see how the network of officers and leaders works.